


Here, at the end of our lives

by Sunhaven (soulhead)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29217087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulhead/pseuds/Sunhaven
Summary: His face looks years younger, void of the constant tension that weighted him down back on earth. He looks almost as young as the first time they met, back in that dusty barn where Dean summoned him with the help of Bobby.Or, Dean looks for Castiel in Heaven in the hope of finally speaking outloud what remained unsaid during his life on earth.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 44





	Here, at the end of our lives

_Dean is looking for him_.

At least, it's the recent hearsay that has followed him no matter where he went in Heaven today, every angel he met in the past few days urgently sharing this rumors with him.

 _Finally,_ he thoughts excitingly before feeling a rush of panic invades him.

And so, he seeks to wait for Dean in a place where he knows no one will be tempted to eavesdrop on their conversation. Almost instinctively, he flies to a remote corner of Heaven, pushing the white fence of a small and quiet backyard of an equally peaceful house. It's not the first time his steps have guided him to this place, so his feet automatically walks on the unkempt green grass surrounding him before he sits on a small wooden bench.

When he had finally opened up about his feelings for Dean, it was done in a moment of desperation, of self-sacrifice. He knew that ultimately this moment would be cut short by the Empty.

And yet, here he is, waiting for Dean to find him and for their conversation to pick up once again.

It's not long before, as he is trying to calm his apprehension, a familiar noise of pitter-patter approaches him. A few seconds pass before his eyes fall on the form of a small Calico cat whose fur was a mix and match of black, white and orange fur : the soul that belong to this inconspicuous part of Heaven.

Apart for that, the cat in itself had nothing particular to the outside eyes. Castiel thinks it was named Bubble by its human handlers, a common name for such a tame cat. Here, in Heaven it spend most of his days exploring the replica of its neighbor's garden that Heaven created and trying to climb up the maple tree in its center.

It was maybe what made Castiel so fond of the small place of heaven : its simplicity and the comfort it offered to him.

Somehow, Castiel could observes the playful cat roams hours around the backyard without letting himself be submerged by any kind of inner-troubles. And like today, if he's particularly lucky, the small cat eventually come to demand some petting that Castiel happily deliver.

Today as he waits for Dean to find him there, the cat must sense the tension surrounding him and climbs on his lap to purr happily against his chest, demanding more attention than usual.

Castiel welcomes the distraction and his fingers tangles themselves easily in the thick black fur of the cat. For a time, tension leaves his body and he closes his eyes, reveling in the gentle wind caressing his face.

His inner peace is disturbed when he hears another sound of steps approaching which makes the cat jumps off his lap.

«Hi, Castiel.» a familiar voice greets him from behind «It's been a while.»

«Dean.» he greets back before scooting on the left side of the small bench in an invitation for his friend to sit down next to him.

Despite his aura of calm, his breath hitches when his eyes finally meet the hunter's.

His face looks years younger, void of the constant tension that weighted him down back on earth. He looks almost as young as the first time they met, back in that dusty barn where Dean summoned him with the help of Bobby.

He even muses that strangely enough, under the sun of the cat's heaven, the freckles on Dean's skin have resurfaced, maybe reinvigorated by the indolent lifestyle of Heaven.

«So, that's where you've been playing hermit, uh ?» Dean finally talks as his eyes only briefly leaves Castiel face and he observes the slow fall of the Maple's leaves a few meters in front of them «Who's version of heaven is it ?»

It takes Castiel a few second to register Dean's question, focused as he is to try to reign in on the furious beat of his heart.

 _How human for an angel like him_ , a part of Castiel ponders at the back of his mind.

His throat tied up, he points to the small cat who has started to scratch his claws lazily on the tree's bark.

Dean lets out a sound of disbelief once he spots what he is pointing to.

«A cat ? You mean to tell me Cat paradise isn't some made-up myth parents tell their kids when they have to tell them their cat crossed the wrong road at the wrong time ?»

«It was Jack's idea.» Castiel answers as Dean finally sits next to him «He said we had to make sure this time things would be all right. To rebuild, renovate heaven entirely from scratches. And for him, it meant above all to include a place for every animal's soul.»

When Castiel turns his head back to read the expression on Dean's face, a fond smile has started to appear on his expression.

«The kid has always been fond of pets, hasn't he ?»

For a moment, neither of them speak more, content to just be in each other's presence and remember the look of utter amazement that had appeared on Jack's face the first time he saw a dog.

Back on earth, the number of time they were able to share such a simple, carefree moment could be counted on the fingers of both his hands. And now, Castiel muses, it feels even more surreal to reminisce of such an inconspicuous time.

There's no more demons to hunt down, no more God to worry about. Just them and an eternity of time ahead of them.

And yet, as they relishes in each other close proximity, an almost imperceptible tension rises between the two of them.

Castiel doesn't let it destabilize him. This time, it's not his turn to speak. Patiently, he watches the progressively redder tint the sunrays takes on the ground as the sun sets while he feels the burn of Dean's stare over him.

On multiple occasions, it seems Dean is on the verge of speaking, parting his mouth open before closing it when the words he's looking for stubbornly remain stuck in his throat.

In front of them, the cat has started to attentively sniff the wooden fences surrounding the backyard, inspecting every parcels of it. Its tail stands tall, indicating the intense focus the cat is giving to making sure nothing has changed in the backyard, as if anything could temper with its version of Heaven.

Eventually, Castiel shifts his attention away of the small creature and back to the hesitant aura of the man next to him. It seems Dean won't be able to say what is on his mind without a push in the right direction, Castiel thinks regretfully.

«I think I've done enough waiting for now on.» he muses outloud.

«Waiting ?» Dean asks, a frown of incomprehension appearing on his face.

«For you to be ready to resume the discussion we've had before-...Before I got taken into the empty.» Castiel stops himself, the intense weight that was lifted off of him at that time still leaving him breathless each time he remembers uttering those words :

_You changed me, Dean._

_I love you._

After a few seconds of pause, Castiel carries on «I set myself free of the words I held back for too long. So tell me, Dean : have you came here to do the same ?»

With those last words, his eyes falls back on Dean. Except that for the first time since their reunion, the hunter's gaze nervously avoid him. It seems evident now that the man had come to seek him, ready to have a conversation before realizing he ultimately wasn't.

So, he waits patiently and allows Dean to gather his thoughts as he lays a reassuring hand on his shoulder, squeezing it as if to say « _Hey, it's alright. You're only talking to me, your old friend_.»

He's waited long enough already anyway, hoped for this time to come without daring to believe too confidently it would actually ever come. And now, Dean's there, just next to him and nervously wringing his hands together, his mouth half open as he tries and tries to find his words.

In front of the small bench they're sat on, the cat now lays low on the ground, trying to make itself as unnoticeable as possible while its eyes scrutinizes the slow fall of a maple leaf to the ground. Even from there, Castiel can see how big its pupils have started to dilate at the sight of the prey.«I'm not good at talking.» Dean eventually declares, frustration evident in his tone «I've fought my entire life against demons, monsters, gods...And now all of that is over. I mean, _I'm_ literally over ! I'm dead !» he says, scoffing in disbelief before stopping for a moment as he rubs a hand over his forehead.

«What I want to say is that...It's a lot to wrap my head around, that my life has come to an end and yet here I am...At the end of my life, talking to you...» the hunter finishes with a sigh before meeting Castiel's gaze, trying to convey with his irises everything he can't, like he always did back on earth.

Except this time, Castiel doesn't indulge Dean.

They have had enough of those silent conversation as they lived.

Now, in Heaven, he won't let Dean go back to his ways so easily.

As Castiel averts his eyes, he focuses on the cat a few meters in front of them. It finally decides to jump on the small leaf as another light guff of wind carries it along. Beside him, he can feel Dean getting restless, but Castiel pretends to be deeply interested in the whereabouts of the animal as he watches the small cat plays. Briefly, he wonders fondly if the cat will ever grow tired of chasing after leaves days after days.

Probably not.

«Hey, it's alright, another will fall soon.» Castiel softly reassures the cat after it quickly come rubbing his head against his left leg with a disappointed meow. He makes a mental note to ask Jack to increase the fall of those leaves for the cat's entertainment, heaven can't count a bored cat among it's own rank after all.

As he scratches the chin of the cat, a gentle weight starts to encompass his other hand. Surprised, he turns his attention back to it and is met by the sight of Dean's hand encircling his. The contact of the hunter's skin feels enticingly warm.

The cat down his feet is entirely forgotten when he feels Dean's thumb grazes softly the palm of his hand in a gentle, soothing way.

Dean's silence can last just a little longer, Castiel thinks mesmerized, if he keeps holding his hand in such an intimate way.

This peaceful moment is yet broken by the troubled expression he finds sitting on Dean's face. His heart stings at the sight and he reaches for Dean's left cheek, trying to hunt away the evident tension on the hunter's face with the strokes of his thumb. Dean leans toward his touch and closes his eyes for a moment, willing his breath to return to normal.

It's not fair for a man to face such turmoil in Heaven, he muses.

«Hey, it's alright, Dean.» he starts, his voice shaking ever so slightly with emotions «I can wait. We have more than enough time in our hands, n-»

A pair of strong arms interrupts him, Dean holding him now tightly against his chest in a secure embrace that Castiel immediately reciprocates.

«I don't deserve you.» the hunter creaks out, his voice hoarse and teary.

«You do, Dean. You do.»

Beside them, obvious to the turmoil, the cat found a small shadowed bush and after a few minutes spent scenting the place, decided to curl in a ball to enjoy her daily nap.

And as the cat's mind slowly drifts into unconsciousness, it leaves behind them two souls sat on the small wooden bench of a nameless corner of Heaven. Two souls that have the rest of eternity to figure it out and once they'll have done it, the small cat just hopes one of them will come scratch him behind the ear.


End file.
